“I know I probably don’t cross your mind much anymore but I hope someday you see something that reminds you of me and the things we use to spend hours talking about at night and then your throat gets tight and your heart skips a beat and you finally miss me back.”—I miss you so much (via missinyouiskillingme)
Stern:Have you had great love in your life, where it just hurts that it didn't work out?
Stern:Why did it not work out?
Kaling:Because, uh... this sounds so lame, it's not profound, but people are so different, and you can overlap in certain ways that are important but not... the ones that are the most important, or something.
Stern:Are you still in touch with this guy?
Stern:Do you know what he's up to, do you know if he's married now, does he have kids...?
Kaling (laughing):Yeah, he's, he's not married, no.
Stern:But you check on him.
Kaling:Yeah, he's a good friend of mine. Yeah.
Stern:Look at that smile! I think we can set you back up with this guy. I think you're in love.
Kaling:Yeah, well, he's my best friend, so it's... that's not...
Stern:He broke up with you or you broke up with him?
Kaling:...He broke up with me.
Stern:You would take him back.
Kaling:No... it was years ago when this break up happened.
Stern:Best sex of your life with this guy?
Kaling:Oh, man. It was pretty good. He's a smart and funny guy!
Stern:Were you upset when you broke up?
Kaling:I was so, so sad. Not angry-sad. Sad-sad. That was the hottest I'd ever looked, because I'd stopped eating...I'd wake up, get out of bed, and not care. We worked together...but I was real miserable.
Stern:I think the guy you were in love with was the guy you co-starred with on the Office. [Kaling LAUGHS] Am I right or am I wrong?
Kaling:B.J.? He was... he was -
Stern:He was the guy.
Kaling:Well, he was, yes, you are correct, not that the mystery - you're not Sherlock Holmes or anything, Howard -
Stern:I'm Sherlock Holmes! That's right, that's what they call me.
Kaling:You're like, 'who have you known for ten years who you worked with...' No, but he legitimately is one of my best friends; he texted me before the show like 'Good luck on Howard,' he's been on my show, he was a producer on the pilot, I see him all the time.
Stern:If he asked you to marry him you would have.
Kaling:At the time? Yeah.
Kaling:I mean, it would have been.. I was 24. But for the record, if anybody had asked me to marry them I would have...but he's a wonderful guy.
Stern:Well let's hope he calls you tomorrow and asks you to marry him!
Kaling:I! I would not - one thing about this is, I love him and think he's a good person, but I'm not holding a candle for him or anything...
Stern:I believe if he called you tomorrow and said, 'I made a terrible mistake; we must get back together and get married,' you would do it.
Kaling:I... I don't know. I don't know.
Stern:It's not a 'no.' That's it.
Stern:We'll get you a boyfriend, don't worry about it.
“I’ll tell you what I do want. I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking forks out as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.”—Liz Lemon, 30 Rock (via helenaoftroy)
Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions. Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.
In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:
“The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.”
In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts.